Pantomime Hearse

Mascot Fight Pantomime Hearse Lyrics
1.Terry Is The Chicago Sun

Terry walks and talks and meets and greets and eats what he sees
He's photographed in swimming pools and jacuzzis
His wedding ring conspicuously missing from his left ring-finger
Close-ups ensure that we don't miss what the article laboured to
spell out

Trivia dominates the headlines
He drinks red wines when he dines with anybody but his wife
Who knows what they see in him through their pound-sign'd eyes

Bingeing and swinging in his kitchen
Diet or die, Terry read the Chicago Sun
Run, Terry, run
And Terry will spin in his gravy
When he sees what's in tomorrow's Chicago Sun
Run, Terry, run

He's in the autumn of his years
But with a spring in his step-
His wife's left him now, he's moving in the new brunette
Divorce settled on the moors
Rather than through the courts
And it'll be serialised for working class eyes

Now Terry's rotting in his jail cell
There's no mention of him in the Chicago Sun
Run, Terry, Run
But maybe if he hangs himself
He'll make one last front page of the Chicago Sun
Run, Terry, Run


2.Danger Man

If I could coherently explain offside
Then would you see, my comfortable and uncommitted bride
That desperation substitutes interest as if it was your play
Am I really whining about something that lasted twenty something
days?
But you don't need your man
But you don't need your man

Making our mouths move together
but I'd like to keep my tongue firmly in cheek
Trying to extract some meaning,
putting a label on it when it's only been 4 weeks
Comfort fixes movements wrapped in tar
and now to me its fairly clear
That you are quick off your flowered heels
to smile from ear to ear
You don't need your man
You don't need your man


3.Play The Meathead Anthem

Now conceptual and themed
Once ancient underground courtyards sinking out of sight
Play your king if theres not
A grey hair on his head and not a sole grey cell in it

The clientele have gone downhill
Punters complain as you brush past
So glad they made this bank a bar
Careful who you look in the eye
The meathead anthem's turned up high
They made the Post Office a pub

Divorcee queen lends a hand
When they fall in love, they're in love for a night
The gargled diction fails
Then they play like reverends
And scratch their backs against the concrete

Those people won't hold open doors
Politeness they seem to deplore
They should make this library a wine bar
Jobseekers is there to mis-spend
Slumped on the altar like bookends
Let's pray they make this church a club


4.That's A Photocopier (Not A Chair)

She's the geek girl in the office
She likes old Hitchcock films
And she tops up her juice bottle
With orange refills

She wants to be an actress
With some old theatre company
She even likes The Smiths
But she likes solo Morrissey

She's the Greek girl in the office
But nothing much is known
And I cannot understand her
Think I'm just the only one

She fiddles with her hair
When she's trying to talk to me
And I just smile and laugh
And nod with her nervously

That's a photocopier
Not a chair
They're the girls in the office
Girls in the office
Girls in the office
Girls in the office now


5.City Bones

No bad blood now
Between our class and
Other form groups

Rivals from school
Have grown into
The same smoke rooms

Those old lock-ins with indigenous no-brains
Seventeen people with only three surnames
Replicas of girls under half their age
Analogue lanes
Led me away

The same word that
They use for won here
I use for lost

Those old lock-ins with indigenous no brains
Seventeen people with only three surnames
Replicas of women over twice their age
Digital roads
Led me this way


6.Thinking In French


7.Dalian Shied Away

Wanda won the fashion show three years running
Her mandarin dress heirloom from her mother
And her lightened skin and straightened hair were stunning

Across her victorious seafood supper,
She saw a young man, dapper
And asked if he would meet with her some time

Afraid to turn her down, aware of her new crown
He took her to the poshest place in town
She still was not aware that he was not a wealthy man

His measly zoo-worker's wage destroyed by just the starters page
He asked her to excuse him a short while

Dalian shied away
Through the bathroom window he made his escape
He tore his rented suit, had to leave his borrowed shoes
Grazed his arm and broke the latch along the way

He'd merely snuck into the fashion show this year
As a challenge and a wager from a peer
His previous convictions and his ketamine addiction denied him
entry legitimately

So Dalian shied away
And started typing his life into a play
Called Dalian Shied Away'
But he never finished, only ever got half way


8.Interval


9.Diego Barnes

Oh Diego Barnes
Come back to Dagobah, we miss your gibberish
Your career in the theatre ended when you felt
Too at ease in your costume
Too at ease in your costume

Your techniques were questioned
Acting like a Withnail for cool points
It left you needing a place to stay
When you couldn't cope with the reviews
When your antics made the news

Oh Diego Barnes
Was quite average under that lighting
But Julio Newell was far superior
In this half finished play
By some half witted stray


10.Our Skool Daze


11.Fifty Kwacha

In a valley they search, and boat breakers emerge
In the foundries they haunt and the pin-stripes they curse
And you've done nothing worthwhile for the past seventeen years

The cryptic cryptid myth still haunts that third-world village!
The cryptic cryptid myth still haunts that third-world village!
The cryptic cryptid myth still haunts that third-world village!
The cryptic cryptid myth still haunts that third-world village!